I always thought I was hiding the arguments, my crying, the tension, bruises and marks from my children in the beginning.
They were too young, right?
They didn’t understand, right?
It hurts less when we think they don’t know or don’t understand.
I’d convinced myself of that.
When my ex pushed a knife towards me with my young son laying next to me in the bed I was certain he was asleep.
He didn’t move.
He didn’t flinch so he had to have been asleep.
I even wrote about the incident in my book maintaining that he was asleep.
After a family psychology session a few months ago he said quietly to me
“You know how you always thought I was asleep when Dad had the knife? I was awake. I pretended I was asleep. I remember it.” 😢
They know more than we realise.
They feel more than we think.
They understand more than we know.