What is an intention and how do you set one?

What is an intention and how do you set one?

An intention is how you want to feel for the day. It is identifying the outcome you want to experience in a particular situation or circumstance. It is projecting how it will pan out.

You can set an intention at any point of the day. I like to set an intention in the morning while I’m in the shower. Usually my intention involves having a great day or feeling wonderful as I move throughout my day. Yesterday morning I set an intention for a particular outcome and I’m pleased that I got it.

A few months ago I had a wisdom tooth extracted. It was the first tooth I’ve had removed and the first major dental work I’ve had done. It was a particular traumatic experience. The tooth was stubborn and took around an hour to remove which meant my entire jaw, gums and teeth were sore due to the pressure and pulling and tugging. It resulted in nerve damage which caused other issues including a numb lip for around a month. I spent the following 4 days in bed, not moving, with painkillers doing very little. It was an 8 week recovery and I feel I lost a lot of time and energy.

Another wisdom tooth has been causing me pain and grief and I have tried to put it off for as long as I could due to my previous experience. I bit the bullet, booked an appointment and on that morning I stood in the shower with the water washing over me. I centred myself, took a few deep breaths in to calm myself and bring peace. And then I made my intention.

“I intend for my wisdom tooth extraction to go well today. The tooth will pop out effortlessly, with minimal pain and a short recovery. What a great experience it is.”

And I got it. It did take a little longer to remove than a standard extraction (stubborn teeth of mine) but it was drastically less traumatic than my first experience. A little sore and swollen which is to be expected but I haven’t been confined to bed, dosing myself up on painkillers and struggling to function.

I love intentions.

What intentions do you like to set for the day?

Advertisements
What can you achieve in 7 years?

What can you achieve in 7 years?

Yesterday was 7 years since I’d left my husband, the father of my kids and the only life I’d ever known. I needed an AVO and police intervention after years of domestic violence including verbal and physical abuse. When I left him I luckily had a lot of support around me but I had zero self esteem and had no idea how I would manage life as a single mum after being with him since I was 15.

In the last 7 years I have been raising 5 kids by myself and doing a pretty good job. They’re all good kids and I take all the credit for it.

I’ve taken them to the snow, on several cruises, on their 1st overseas trip and across NSW camping and fourbying. We’re roadtripping to Uluru in a few months too!

I go to school events, footy games, netball carnivals, take them moto riding and love them fiercely.

I got divorced, finalised property settlement, worked my ass off and sacrificed a lot to buy my exhusband out and keep the house to give my children security and stability. I then renovated the house, sold the house and moved down the coast in search of a better life for us. We found it. It’s gorgeous down here.

I bought a block of land and moved into our brand new house 12 months ago.

I’ve graduated Uni with a Bachelor of Community Development and currently at Uni studying Law to maintain my employability and ensure our futures.

I self published a book on my DV experience, sold copies around the world and about to start collaborating with a company who shares my vision.

I’ve lost 5 kilos, worked on me and my healing and gained self confidence and self esteem I never imagined I’d ever have. I’ve learned to love who I am, flaws and all, and so damn excited for what the future holds.

I’ve never been happier ❤️

Vision Board

Vision Board

I love a good Vision Board. There’s something powerful about seeing your goals in your own handwriting and/or seeing the image of your goal and imagining yourself there.

My latest Vision Board is a May 2019 creation and I’m going to share my Manifestation Journey as I achieve everything on it.

From seeing Abraham Hicks and Kerwin Rae in person to selling more copies of my book and becoming an inspirational speaker. Visiting Uluru, The Elephant Nature Park in Thailand, The Great Barrier Reef, yoga, a Grabber Blue Ford Mustang and manifesting my soul mate into my life. It’s going to be a beautiful and exciting journey.

My YouTube channel can be found by clicking this link here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2tYgoNF7TyHi7IsjCvwLWw where I’m making videos of My Manifestation Journey in raw, unedited form shot on my iPhone 6S in my bedroom and walk in robe. You’re seeing the journey from the bottom to the top. You’ll get to see how I do it, how I manifest everything into my life.

‘I have to’ vs ‘I choose to’

‘I have to’ vs ‘I choose to’

There’s something pretty heavy about saying and feeling like you ‘have to’ do something. It doesn’t feel very fun when you feel like you’re doing something out of obligation rather than from your own accord.

I have to go to work.

I have to take the dog to the vet.

I have to pick up my mate from the airport.

Have to feels out of your control and has a tinge of negativity to it. But what if you changed the word ‘have’ and replaced it with ‘choose’?

I choose to go to work so I have money to eat, pay rent and have money for entertainment.

I choose to take my dog to the vet to keep him/her healthy and happy.

I choose to pick my mate up from the airport because I like helping him/her out.

It feels less obligatory when it’s a choice.

But what if you do feel like you have to go to work? There’s always a choice. You might not like the place you work at or it might not be the career of your dreams but right now you do have a choice.

You can choose to go to work and get paid while you wait for something else to come along or you can choose to quit right now. The downside of quitting is you won’t get that pay check.

I’m not loving the stress of my workplace at the moment but I still choose to go to work so I get paid. I like my mortgage being paid, I like to eat, my children like to eat and so I choose to go to work for the paycheck right now.

It doesn’t mean that I’m not working on manifesting something different into my life though. It just means that by changing the words I use I can shift the energy and how I feel about it.

Why Do They Stay?

Why Do They Stay?

This was one of my first posts on Lisa’s Sanctuary. It’s a small insight into why women stay in controlling and abusive relationships long after you think they should have left.

My mission is to create awareness of Domestic Violence and empower young women and men to be the change and make a difference.

Sadly the statistics haven’t changed very much 😞

*****

In Australia, at least one woman is killed by a current partner or ex-partner every week. Every single week. So if these men are capable of such violence, why do women stay? Such an easy question to ask, not so easy to answer. Women stay with violent and abusive men for a range of reasons and unless you’ve been there, you just can’t understand.

Relationships rarely begin with a display of verbal abuse, shoving, hitting and controlling behaviour. It’s something that creeps up over time. To begin with women are made to feel like they’re making it up or blowing it out of proportion “I never said it like that, you’re hearing things” and “Do you really believe I would do/say something like that? Wow, you mustn’t know me at all.” The verbal abuse continues either bluntly or subtly for a while before the first physical incident occurs and he’s so unbelievably sorry, it’ll never happen again and he’s so sweet and attentive. She believes him. She so badly wants to believe him. After all, she never knew he was capable of physically striking her so it has to be a once off due to all of the stress he’s under.She’s in love with him. He was amazing in the beginning. “He used to take me out to dinner, buy me flowers, tell me how beautiful I looked so where has this telling me what I can and can’t wear come from? He never acted like that in the beginning.” It becomes a strange concept to grapple with. A man who abuses, controls and isolates his partner didn’t begin his relationship that way. Denial plays its part because it’s hard to understand where his new persona has come from. Maybe it’s just stress? He has been working hard lately, maybe his boss is giving him a hard time? She makes excuses trying to explain his change in behaviour. She’s trying to give meaning to who he has become. She’ll just try and keep the peace, try and make him more comfortable, go about her day and hope things go back to normal, that he goes back to normal. But this is his new normal now unfortunately.By the time she identifies that she is experiencing verbal, emotional, sexual and/or physical abuse she may have been deliberately isolated “I don’t know why you want to go and see her. She’s a whore” and “I can’t believe you’re friends with someone like that” or a blunt statement “I don’t like her and I don’t want you to hang out with her anymore.”Either she pulls back from her support network or they just drift away as her relationship takes a different course. Well meaning friends might gently persuade her that what she’s experiencing isn’t right and tell her to leave but if that causes her shame she’ll stop answering the phone and make excuses to skip social occasions. She wants to avoid any shame, embarrassment, pity and finger pointing at all costs. A lot of her energy goes into getting through the day and home on her own feels safer.Her family may be bolder and call him out on his behaviour. Arguments occur, conflict arises and he forbids her from seeing her disrespectful family members or tells her she must choose. He’s her partner, they share a house together, he’s the father of her children and she can’t take their Dad away from them. She has limited options. She chooses him for the sake of her children and for peace. Short lived peace though.As the arguing continues and intensifies the control tightens and the name calling and vitriol occurs more frequently. Even a strong woman becomes quite downtrodden when she is constantly referred to as dumb, fat, ugly, nagging, bitch, slut, stupid. It’s hard not to let words affect your self esteem and eat into your soul. She begins to believe him. She feels useless, worthless and she doesn’t think she can do anything right.Everything seems so overwhelming. Leaving becomes too hard to a worn down woman because where does she go? Family members have offered their support in the past but how can she uproot her children from their bedrooms and home and cram them into a small shared space with family? He’s already told her that he’s not leaving, if she doesn’t like it then she has to be the one to leave. She may or may not be working but she’s always shared the finances and the costs of the house and the children with him. She doesn’t have the means to continue the same lifestyle and pay mortgage/rent on her own. Finances play a big part in if women stay or leave. Statistics show a large number of women will return to an abusive relationship purely for financial support for their children.Maybe she has reached out before. Maybe she wasn’t believed because he’s such a model citizen, he’s a great friend who helps everyone when he can and he’s so charming, nice, helpful….are you sure you didn’t provoke him? Maybe he’s just under a lot of stress? She just got shut down and she won’t mention it again now.She also hopes he will change, that it is just a phase because she knows the man he was when they met, the man he can be. She prays he finds himself again and they can go back to being a loving couple and a loving, happy family.A lot of women hear threats of harm. He’ll threaten to keep the children from her if she leaves, threaten to harm their pets or family members, threaten to self harm and threaten to hunt her down and kill her if she does dare to leave. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and she has no idea if he is really capable of following out his threats. Does she want to find out?The most dangerous time for a woman living in an abusive relationship is when she’s planning to leave or just after she’s left. It’n not as simple as just walking out the door and leaving. Many will look over their shoulders and tense up every time the phone rings for years to come. Many struggle mentally for the rest of their lives. They have experienced trauma and develop post traumatic stress disorder. Some won’t make it. Women don’t just become safe when they leave the relationship. They are killed by their ex-partners or their demons get the better of them and they take their own lives to escape the pain.She stays for lots of reasons. Many you can’t comprehend unless you’ve been there.
‘Why I Stayed’ is my personal account of a domestic violence relationship. It takes you through my life, the beginning, why I stayed, how I left and the healing I’ve done since then. It can be purchased by download the Kindle app to your device and buying it here:
https://www.amazon.com/Why-I-Stayed-Lisa-Lee/dp/1549551345If you are in an abusive relationship and want to get out, get in contact with a local support organisation or ring a national helpline for advice, make a plan, assess your safety and remain vigilant, find your support network, engage help.If you have left an abusive relationship and are struggling, please get in contact with your local support agencies – that’s what they’re there for, reach out, find a counsellor, love yourself and know that there is life after domestic violence.

What I’ve learnt on my weight loss journey so far.

What I’ve learnt on my weight loss journey so far.

I’m 36 years old. I’ve been trying to lose weight for a few of those years. I’m back on the journey now but with a totally different outlook!

It’s one thing to set a goal to lose weight. It’s an entirely different thing to achieve that goal. And then it’s another thing altogether to maintain that weight loss.

So here’s a few things I’ve learnt about myself for this time around.

I need to want to achieve it by putting in the work. As in the actual work. I need to understand my body, my eating habits and my why’s. I need to understand nothing good ever comes out of quick fixes. This has to be a lifestyle change.

What I’m doing different this time around is I’ve engaged the services of a personal trainer. Gyms don’t work for me. I make excuses and I allow myself to skip the gym because of said excuses. I’m tired, busy, have other things to do, giving myself a break etc etc and I’ll skip the gym given half a chance. Group sessions have worked in the past but this time around I couldn’t find one to fit in with my working hours. So a personal trainer it was. I completed my 3rd session yesterday afternoon and I make myself go because the time works for me, she’s waiting for me, she holds me accountable and I’ve paid for it in advance. If I don’t turn up I lose the money. That definitely helps.

We all know that food is a huge part of weight loss. In fact, I’ve read it’s between 70-80% of weight loss. I haven’t always taken the nutrition side of it seriously. I have taken the opportunity on many occasions to buy take out dinner or an ice cream because I’ve ‘already worked it off so I’m allowed’. Ugh.

I’m an emotional eater and I treat myself with chocolate and ice cream. If I’m sad, angry, stressed and/or happy I reach for a chocolate. If I’m proud of myself or have reached a goal more chocolate it is. I also eat out of spite. “You can’t finish all of that!!” Umm watch me. The best one was when an ex-boyfriend told me I was getting fat and needed to lose some weight. My response was to go down to the local shops and buy a block of chocolate. I got home, sat on the lounge and started chomping.
“Why are you doing that after what I just said?” he called out.
Without skipping a beat I answered “How fat do I have to get before you’ll f**k off?”

This time around I’m more conscious of my eating habits. I try to eat when I’m hungry and not just because. I try not to treat myself with food but rather intrinsically acknowledge my achievements. I don’t restrict foods but I make better choices. I drink more water now and I keep a bottle of water handy so I don’t reach for the juice or soft drink. I eat mindfully. I don’t scoff my meals while watching tv or with my phone in my hand. I savour the mouthfuls and enjoy it more.

I’ll experience a slower weight loss than if I were to jump head first into a calorie restrictive diet and spend an hour every day at the gym. But I’m making choices which fit in with my family, work and lifestyle. Therefore I’m more likely to succeed over the long term.

I’d like to lose 10 kilos. I’ll you updated.

What are you working towards right now?

What are you working towards right now?

Do you know what you want? Do you have a goal in mind? Regardless of what you are or aren’t doing to achieve it?

If you do know what you’re striving towards, that’s a perfect first step. If you don’t know then why don’t you set something right now. Anything.

Mine right now is to get fitter, healthier and lose a few kilos. I’m not dieting, I’m not restricting foods, I’m not spending hours in the gym but I am working towards it in a lifestyle change.

I’m eating better because I’m making better choices. I’m reaching for fruit instead of processed snacks. I’m drinking water instead of soft drink. I’m moving my body when I can.

This morning I jumped up out of bed, chucked my active wear on (really it’s a shirt and comfy pants lol) and my runners so I can take the dogs for a walk when my kids leave to catch the bus to school.

Sometimes you just need to know what you want and then just do the work to get there. Walking the dogs and better food choices today. One day at a time will get you to your end result.

Happy Monday 😊

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day in Australia. It’s a beautiful celebration of everything that mother’s are and do. I spent a few hours with my own Mum, had lunch and honoured the incredible impact she has had on my life. I’ve also reflected on my own role as a Mother and how I’m raising my own children.

My children said Happy Mother’s Day today and we’ve spent the day together. Having lunch, eating cake and chatting away. They’ve done their own thing, bickered and argued over the tv. Pretty much a normal day.

I gave myself permission to sleep in this morning. And by sleep in what I really mean is I laid in bed awake until I couldn’t wait any longer to get up and go to the bathroom. That was just after 7am. But I did jump back into bed straight after. That’s as good as it gets for a sleep in here.

I’ve spent many hours and days wondering if I’m doing a good job as a mother. I think I’m doing a pretty good job actually but it’s taken me a long time to get to this point. I don’t have as much mummy guilt as I used to because I acknowledge that I am human and I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.

And this is a really beautiful place to be in.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you incredible Mum’s, step Mum’s, foster Mum’s, Mum’s to be, Mum’s in waiting, Mum’s of angel babies and every woman who loves a child like her own. You are amazing.

 

Self Care Ideas

Self Care Ideas

Self care is absolutely essential to your health and wellbeing. You should aim to incorporate at least one small act of self care into each and every one of your days.

Something else to add to my list of things to do?? Groan! It may seem like a big ask and almost impossible but you simply cannot pour from an empty cup and all the other cliched phrases about looking after yourself.

So what is self care? Going on a holiday every few months? A bubble bath every night? If that’s something you enjoy, and can manage to do, then go for it but self care doesn’t have to be something that costs money or leaving your children banging on the door after 6 seconds which is the exact opposite of self care.

You can practice self care by going to bed 20-30 minutes earlier to grab an extra bit of sleep or use the time to read, meditate, journal or watch your favourite show. Maybe you could set your alarm for 20-30 minutes earlier in the morning to do it instead.

Practice mindfulness throughout the day by being present, by being in the moment. Look to the sky, the stars, the moon, the clouds, the trees, the flowers and just appreciate its beauty. Mother Nature gives us many reasons to bask in appreciation and it can literally take just a minute or two to reach a state of peace.

Say no. To whatever you need to say no to in order to feel ease. Your parents, your siblings, your friends, your co-workers, whoever makes a request of you that would threaten your sense of peace. We all have responsibilities and there are some things we can’t just refuse to do. Pick your battles. If it’s not a necessity and you feel it would drain your energy, learn to say no.

Nurture your body, mind and spirit by eating fresh food and drinking enough water, move your body even if it’s a walk around the block or a dance off to your favourite song. Utilise your sick leave. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Have a lunch break. Eat mindfully which means focusing on enjoying your meal. Put your phone away, close the laptop and savour each mouthful.

Turn off your phone or switch it to silent for an hour….30 minutes at least. Delete, or hide, the negative people, groups and pages from your social media apps. If you can’t see them you’re less likely to get into a mood about it.

Every now and again, treat yourself without the guilt. It’s been 5 months since I had seen my hairdresser but I saw her today and I feel amazing. No guilt just 2 1/2 hours of me, her and some pretty looking hair at the end of it. Bliss.

 

 

Background Check (Australia)

Background Check (Australia)

Several years ago a pilot program was established in 3 NSW regions where you (or a concerned family member/friend) could attend the police station to seek information and any previous history of domestic violence about a current or former partner. It was designed to give people informed knowledge about their partner’s potential history of violence to keep them safe.

It proved to be beyond valuable so here’s a website where you can input a name and seek your own information. 

Knowledge is power. 

Disclaimer: It seems to be only several years old as my AVO’s against my ex-partner from 2009-2012 are not available however his AVO’s from current partner over the last few years are.

Exercise caution and always always trust your gut 💜

Please share to get the website known by anyone who this may be of interest to.

https://db.dvos.com.au/search