What can you do to reduce Domestic Violence?

What can you do to reduce Domestic Violence?

Yes I do think it’s everyone’s responsibility to help prevent and reduce Domestic and Family Violence.

How do you do that?

🔹 By educating yourself on what abusive and controlling behaviours are.

🔹 Observe your own actions and reactions to better understand your emotions and feelings. It’s ok to feel angry, frustrated, sad, upset, disappointed. Your emotions are valid because they are yours but it is never ok to bully, intimidate, provoke, lash out or degrade someone else because of the way you feel.

🔹 Learn to self regulate your emotions and come up with strategies that work for you instead of lashing out. This could be walking away, spending 5 minutes doing deep breathing, turn the music up and dance. Do anything that makes you feel good and raises your vibration because it is never ok to make someone else feel like garbage because of the way you feel.

🔹 Calling out those who display them especially if they are close friends or family members. Don’t turn a blind eye or develop selective hearing if you witness your brother or sister, cousins or best friend say something mean and derogatory. Tell them it’s not cool. Pull them up on it in a respectful and tactful way to cause them to think about their behaviour.

🔹 Post DV support numbers on your Facebook. You never know who in your friends list is experiencing DV and may hold onto that number ‘just in case’

🔹 Prevention is much easier than healing and therapy later so teach your children about resilience and self esteem and confidence for it is insecure people who degrade and bully another human being in order to make themselves feel better or more superior.

🔹 Teach your children that if they feel a tight uncomfortable feeling in their belly’s in response to something someone has said or done that it’s their body’s instinct and gut feeling. They should pay attention to that and trust it. They can say Stop, I don’t like the way that makes me feel.

🔹 If your child hears someone say Stop, I don’t like the way that makes me feel teach them that they need to respect that and stop the behaviour. They don’t get to assume how it makes someone feel or determine that person is just sensitive and over reacting. They need to stop. Period.

🔹 Offer non-judgemental support to anyone who opens up to you. You may not be a professional but you can be caring and supportive. Pass on numbers and local support services. Understand that leaving isn’t easy, in fact it is often the most dangerous time in a relationship for a victim and their children.

And always remember that you are important, you are enough and you can make a difference 💜

Self care and another reason for a massage

Self care and another reason for a massage

Many years ago I felt a horrendous pain in my shoulder (muscle) and can’t remember doing much to aggravate it.

I even went to hospital but they couldn’t find any immediate causes of the pain.

I made an appointment with an Osteopath I knew and asked for his opinion.

“You’re very tight up here, relax your shoulders, relax…relax more” pointing to my whole shoulder and upper back region “Do you work at a desk and hunch over a lot?”

I didn’t. He mentioned a couple more things that didn’t resonate and then said “You could be regularly holding tension” to which I laughed and replied “Like when my exhusband’s car pulled into the driveway and I had to walk on eggshells?”

And I stopped laughing when he said Yes.

It was after that appointment that I became aware of just how many times throughout the day I clenched my jaw or held my breath or tensed my shoulders or bit my fingernails.

It was a lot and so became my love of massages. A massage for me not only works my muscles but gives me a whole hour of self care including a great chat and the opportunity to relax, daydream, doze and enjoy.

Right now unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders and take a deep breath in and out and remind yourself that you e got this.

Always remember that you are important and you are enough 💜

PS Leanne Semple Massage Therapist if you’re anywhere near the South Coast NSW

Reach for a better feeling thought

Reach for a better feeling thought

If you ask me who my favourite spiritual teacher is, without a doubt, it’s Abraham Hicks. Abraham ignited my healing journey and continues to be my go-to for every problem I come across.

The message is centred around feeling. It’s reaching for a better feeling thought.

It’s understanding that everything that you’ve ever wanted is because you think you will feel better in the having of it

It’s about feeling better and how to reach that place.

Are you hurting? You want to feel peace.

Are you angry? You want to feel joy.

Are you in physical pain? You want to feel healthy and comfortable.

Are you confused? You want to feel clarity.

Are you lost? You want to feel stability and security.

Once you know which feeling you’re reaching for you can begin choosing better feeling thoughts.

It could be as simple as adding ‘yet’ to the phrase to soften the emotion.

I want to feel peace and I don’t….yet but I will. I want to feel peace and I don’t right now but I know I can get there. And until I get there I won’t hate on myself for not feeling peace.

I will love myself until I do feel peace.

Then notice the moments where you do feel peace. In meditation, singing along with your favourite song, in the shower where all you can hear is the water flowing. Bask in those moments. Milk those moments and watch the moments gain momentum and grow.

Always remember that you are important and you are enough 💜

How’s your Mental Health?

How’s your Mental Health?

I’m a huge advocate of reaching out to someone, anyone, when you feel your mental health in decline.

Part of removing the secrecy and taboo-ness of the Mental Health topic is to talk more freely about it and acknowledge that it’s ok to not be ok. People struggle and that’s ok but you should reach out and take the little steps to try and move forward. Day by day, hour by hour if that feels more manageable.After 3 months of two very sore partially erupted wisdom teeth, 2 painful extractions and a long, hard recovery period coupled with single mum life and no breaks from my parenting and adulting responsibilities, my car at the mechanics and my sons car breaking down last night (which I’ve been driving in my car’s absence), work stresses, unable to get to work today and feeling like I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders means today is the point where I’m publicly acknowledging that I’m struggling right now.I have been reaching out to my beautiful soul sister over the last few weeks and I’m sure she’s noticed a decline in my mental health. I’ve had good bits here and there but the constant pain means my mood easily drops when something slightly less than desirable happens.I’ve been up since 4.50am, woken with tooth/jaw pain and I’ve had more than a few emotional moments this morning but now I need to take control of what happens from here.Right now I’m sitting in front of my current puzzle (pictured, my favourite hobby) with a coffee and I’m taking slow, deep breaths while I’m typing.I intend to finish the puzzle today and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.

My house and washing is in shambles due to extraction, pain and recovery, rain and the fact that kids live here and while most people would advise to leave it, I know that my mood improves with a clean and organised house.I intend to set a timer of 5 minutes in every room of the house, do what I can and move on.There are several important phone calls I have been putting off which I will do today.I need to find a friend who can drive me and my son over to his car so the NRMA can come out (his level of membership meant that they wouldn’t come out last night because he wasn’t with me) and hopefully get some answers with that.I will do a guided meditation today and step outside to enjoy the fresh air, sunshine and beautiful surroundings to ground myself and recharge.From there we’ll see but for now I have a plan to try and get out of this funk.It’s ok to not be ok. But please reach out to someone and ask for support 💜

What can you achieve in 7 years?

What can you achieve in 7 years?

Yesterday was 7 years since I’d left my husband, the father of my kids and the only life I’d ever known. I needed an AVO and police intervention after years of domestic violence including verbal and physical abuse. When I left him I luckily had a lot of support around me but I had zero self esteem and had no idea how I would manage life as a single mum after being with him since I was 15.

In the last 7 years I have been raising 5 kids by myself and doing a pretty good job. They’re all good kids and I take all the credit for it.

I’ve taken them to the snow, on several cruises, on their 1st overseas trip and across NSW camping and fourbying. We’re roadtripping to Uluru in a few months too!

I go to school events, footy games, netball carnivals, take them moto riding and love them fiercely.

I got divorced, finalised property settlement, worked my ass off and sacrificed a lot to buy my exhusband out and keep the house to give my children security and stability. I then renovated the house, sold the house and moved down the coast in search of a better life for us. We found it. It’s gorgeous down here.

I bought a block of land and moved into our brand new house 12 months ago.

I’ve graduated Uni with a Bachelor of Community Development and currently at Uni studying Law to maintain my employability and ensure our futures.

I self published a book on my DV experience, sold copies around the world and about to start collaborating with a company who shares my vision.

I’ve lost 5 kilos, worked on me and my healing and gained self confidence and self esteem I never imagined I’d ever have. I’ve learned to love who I am, flaws and all, and so damn excited for what the future holds.

I’ve never been happier ❤️

Vision Board

Vision Board

I love a good Vision Board. There’s something powerful about seeing your goals in your own handwriting and/or seeing the image of your goal and imagining yourself there.

My latest Vision Board is a May 2019 creation and I’m going to share my Manifestation Journey as I achieve everything on it.

From seeing Abraham Hicks and Kerwin Rae in person to selling more copies of my book and becoming an inspirational speaker. Visiting Uluru, The Elephant Nature Park in Thailand, The Great Barrier Reef, yoga, a Grabber Blue Ford Mustang and manifesting my soul mate into my life. It’s going to be a beautiful and exciting journey.

My YouTube channel can be found by clicking this link here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2tYgoNF7TyHi7IsjCvwLWw where I’m making videos of My Manifestation Journey in raw, unedited form shot on my iPhone 6S in my bedroom and walk in robe. You’re seeing the journey from the bottom to the top. You’ll get to see how I do it, how I manifest everything into my life.

What are you working towards right now?

What are you working towards right now?

Do you know what you want? Do you have a goal in mind? Regardless of what you are or aren’t doing to achieve it?

If you do know what you’re striving towards, that’s a perfect first step. If you don’t know then why don’t you set something right now. Anything.

Mine right now is to get fitter, healthier and lose a few kilos. I’m not dieting, I’m not restricting foods, I’m not spending hours in the gym but I am working towards it in a lifestyle change.

I’m eating better because I’m making better choices. I’m reaching for fruit instead of processed snacks. I’m drinking water instead of soft drink. I’m moving my body when I can.

This morning I jumped up out of bed, chucked my active wear on (really it’s a shirt and comfy pants lol) and my runners so I can take the dogs for a walk when my kids leave to catch the bus to school.

Sometimes you just need to know what you want and then just do the work to get there. Walking the dogs and better food choices today. One day at a time will get you to your end result.

Happy Monday 😊

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day in Australia. It’s a beautiful celebration of everything that mother’s are and do. I spent a few hours with my own Mum, had lunch and honoured the incredible impact she has had on my life. I’ve also reflected on my own role as a Mother and how I’m raising my own children.

My children said Happy Mother’s Day today and we’ve spent the day together. Having lunch, eating cake and chatting away. They’ve done their own thing, bickered and argued over the tv. Pretty much a normal day.

I gave myself permission to sleep in this morning. And by sleep in what I really mean is I laid in bed awake until I couldn’t wait any longer to get up and go to the bathroom. That was just after 7am. But I did jump back into bed straight after. That’s as good as it gets for a sleep in here.

I’ve spent many hours and days wondering if I’m doing a good job as a mother. I think I’m doing a pretty good job actually but it’s taken me a long time to get to this point. I don’t have as much mummy guilt as I used to because I acknowledge that I am human and I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.

And this is a really beautiful place to be in.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you incredible Mum’s, step Mum’s, foster Mum’s, Mum’s to be, Mum’s in waiting, Mum’s of angel babies and every woman who loves a child like her own. You are amazing.

 

Self Care Ideas

Self Care Ideas

Self care is absolutely essential to your health and wellbeing. You should aim to incorporate at least one small act of self care into each and every one of your days.

Something else to add to my list of things to do?? Groan! It may seem like a big ask and almost impossible but you simply cannot pour from an empty cup and all the other cliched phrases about looking after yourself.

So what is self care? Going on a holiday every few months? A bubble bath every night? If that’s something you enjoy, and can manage to do, then go for it but self care doesn’t have to be something that costs money or leaving your children banging on the door after 6 seconds which is the exact opposite of self care.

You can practice self care by going to bed 20-30 minutes earlier to grab an extra bit of sleep or use the time to read, meditate, journal or watch your favourite show. Maybe you could set your alarm for 20-30 minutes earlier in the morning to do it instead.

Practice mindfulness throughout the day by being present, by being in the moment. Look to the sky, the stars, the moon, the clouds, the trees, the flowers and just appreciate its beauty. Mother Nature gives us many reasons to bask in appreciation and it can literally take just a minute or two to reach a state of peace.

Say no. To whatever you need to say no to in order to feel ease. Your parents, your siblings, your friends, your co-workers, whoever makes a request of you that would threaten your sense of peace. We all have responsibilities and there are some things we can’t just refuse to do. Pick your battles. If it’s not a necessity and you feel it would drain your energy, learn to say no.

Nurture your body, mind and spirit by eating fresh food and drinking enough water, move your body even if it’s a walk around the block or a dance off to your favourite song. Utilise your sick leave. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Have a lunch break. Eat mindfully which means focusing on enjoying your meal. Put your phone away, close the laptop and savour each mouthful.

Turn off your phone or switch it to silent for an hour….30 minutes at least. Delete, or hide, the negative people, groups and pages from your social media apps. If you can’t see them you’re less likely to get into a mood about it.

Every now and again, treat yourself without the guilt. It’s been 5 months since I had seen my hairdresser but I saw her today and I feel amazing. No guilt just 2 1/2 hours of me, her and some pretty looking hair at the end of it. Bliss.